Saturday, June 25, 2016

Tuesday @ Ten - STEP

I am ready to join Karen for Tuesday @ Ten - a weekly link-up where she posts a word or phrase for us to write from.  We have until the next Monday night to get our post written and linked.

Many weeks I am late getting my post written and linked, almost missing the "deadline".  But, I rarely miss joining her weekly link-up...

And, it's time to join her once again!

This week's prompt is - Step:

A few short days ago, we celebrated Fathers' Day.  Like Mothers' Day, we focus on one of our parents; we shower them with love and gifts and honor the person they have been for us.

I was fortunate to grow up in a home where I had both parents...all my life!  Actually, all of their lives since I no longer have either of my parents.

But, we had loving parents.  My brothers and I grew up knowing we were loved and disciplined when necessary.

Unfortunately, there are many children in the world that live in a "blended" family; a family with a parent that is not their "biological" parent...not their "real" parent.

They are considered a step parent, while the children are considered a step child.

I, personally, do not like that word!  It's hard enough to hold a blended family together; but to put a mark on them like "step child" doesn't make it any easier.

Neither is a step parent that makes the designation between a step child and their own child so obvious.

This isn't the norm...

But, for us it made for a very difficult marriage.  I had two children when I met my husband.  He was great in the beginning; but once our child was born, there was a definite difference.

I don't like to dwell on this...I know it was hard for my two children, growing up with a step father that didn't make it any easier by his obvious preference.

Their father was "in the picture", but lived in a different state.  They spent some vacations with him, but didn't see him often.

The "father figure" in the home was one hwo doted on the daughter he had always wanted.  And, this obvious partiality made things so much more difficult for the children, and for me!

My son exemplifies the father/daughter relationship that more resembles mine with my father...

When he met his wife married, she had a 2 year old daughter.  He became the only father that she ever knew.

Sad to say, my son is no longer married to her mother; but he certainly has not turned his back on her.

My husband feels that there is no longer a "relationship" since he is no longer married to her mother.

Happily, my son does not share this view!

She is his daughter; she will always be his daughter!  And, my granddaughter feels the same way about her "daddy".  They don't consider it a "step" relationship!

Recently I read the book, "Love Matters" by radio talk show host, Delilah.  In her book, she shares love stories of different kinds, heart-felt stories that touch the heart.

One such story, titled "Child of Mine", speaks directly to how I feel about the term "step child"...

"At the time of our wedding...I was somewhat scared about becoming a stepfather as I'd never even had any children of my  own, so I asked my maternal granddad what he thought about my taking on stepchildren.  I still remember his reply:

'...there's no such thing as a stepchild, and as far as I'm concerned (they) are my grandchildren, not step grandchildren.  No child should be saddled with the term step-anything.  They're children, period, and children are born to be loved.' "

Though this is a story read in a book, it could very well have been my son speaking with his own grandfather.

I am proud of the father that he is; and pray one day he will become a "biological" father.  But, that doesn't even matter!

He IS a father!

And, whether he has children with another woman in the future or not, I have a beautiful granddaughter...


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