Random Journal Day - January 1, 2016

One of my favorite bloggers to follow is Dawn, who blogs at enthusiasticallydawn.com.  On the first Friday of each month, Dawn hosts Random Journal Day, where fellow journalers share an entry from one of their journals...

Whether we share an entry from yesterday, or last month, or even one from several years ago...we just share what's on our hearts or in our journals!

This year, Dawn is adding a few prompts to be used in place of an entry from our journals, if we prefer to respond to one of the prompts instead of sharing our journal entries.

So, to begin yet another new year - 2016 - I have gathered a few entries from the beginning of several different years; and look at the Resolutions - or lack of - for that particular year!

December 31, 2002

"New Year's Eve, and what do I find myself doing on this New Year's Eve?  Well, winding down and relaxing; the usual...

"But, I don't usually do New Year's Resolutions but thought I'd give it a try..."

And I proceeded to list out eight resolutions to attempt for 2003.


January 1, 2006

From the church bulletin today:  "The God of all times and yet beyond time, calls us into a new year.  God helps us travel with faith and expectation.  God guides us in a new adventure.  Let us give our time to God.  Let us boldly witness to God's presence in our future.  We are grateful for the present of God's presence.  We are confident of God's presence in the present."

I wrote:  "It is a new year - another year to start over, or begin anew...

"So...New Year's Resolutions!  Well, I don't do them.  Last year I did, but certainly didn't get very far with them!  I think they were more like 'goals'..."

And for 2006 I proceeded to list out about four resolutions, or goals!  {Check out the above entry...I had listed out eight!  Guess after a couple of years, I decided to reduce the list!}


January 1, 2008

"So, another year; another set of New Year's Resolutions.  I didn't do very well last year...

"But, it is another new year; and time for new resolutions.  If I were to put a 'theme' to what I resolve for 2008, it would be Family!"

And I listed out four resolutions once again!


December 2010

"It's that time of year when we think about our New Year's Resolutions - and I haven't!"

I did write out a few things that I wanted to try to accomplish in 2011...and shared this "My Wish for 2011" posted by a friend:

"May peace break into your home and may thieves come to steal your debts.  May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 bills.  May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!  May happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy.  May the problems you had forget your home address!  In simple words...

"May 2011 be the best year of your life!!!"


December 31, 2011

"Well, New Year's Eve - goodbye to 2011 and welcome 2012!  No New Year's Resolutions, yet!

"So now that the first day of the new year is nearly gone, I need to think about resolutuions - or do I?!"

And, I listed out yet another five resolutions!


January 1, 2013

"My niece posted this on her status today:  '...forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.' (Philippians 3:13-14 - NIV)."

I wrote:  "I never thought of this as a verse for the new year; but can see that leaving what is past behind us is a good thing.  Our past makes us - helps make us - who we are; but we don't have to dwell on the past!  As for the blank page...well, it is the beginning of a new year; 365 days to do good; be who we are meant to be; do what we are meant to do...and it starts today!"


December 2013

Found on Facebook:  "May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness.  I hope you read some fine books, and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art - write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can.  And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself."  (Neil Gaiman)

Well, I didn't actually list out any of the resolutions from these entries; it wouldn't have made much of a difference anyway...

I didn't make it past the first few weeks!

Isn't that what we do most of the time...make the resolutions we know we won't accomplish?

All I know is that I didn't really accomplish them; and I stopped making any type of resolution.  Perhaps if I called them "goals" instead; and divided them into a smaller time frame?

I'm not sure how that would work; but I "resolve" to do better in setting and achieving the goals I need to accomplish!

Hope you've done a better job of keeping those resolutions!!

Random Journal Day - December 4, 2015

One of my favorite bloggers to follow is Dawn, who blogs at enthusiasticallydawn.com.  On the first Friday of each month, Dawn hosts Random Journal Day, where fellow journalers share an entry from one of their journals...

Whether we share an entry from yesterday, or last month, or even one from several years ago...we just share what's on our hearts or in our journals!

And, since I have followed Dawn every first Friday of 2015...I couldn't let December pass by without sharing.

The entries I share today are from December 2007 and January 2008:


December 31, 2007

"The thing about taking a car in to get a 'check-up' is worrying about finding something major wrong.

"The thing about taking myself in for a 'check-up', or blood test, or paper smear or mammogram, or...

"Get the picture?!  I know doing all of these 'check-ups' is preventive, or to 'catch it early'; but it's pretty scary when you get a 'recall'...


{After having a mammogram earlier in the month, I arrived home on a Friday and my husband told me I had a message; it turned out to be from Baptist...}


"And, of course when I called, everyone was gone for the day!  But I heard from them today -

"It seems they saw a 'shadow' that could be a cyst or just muscle.  They want to do another test on the left breast...

"So, I have to have it done on January 15th...Of course, they said not to worry!

"Easier said than done!  But, I'll try not to worry and leave it in God's hands!"


January 11, 2008

"...I have a 're-do' on the mammo...not really anything to be concerned about!  Or, so they say: 'Don't worry'...

"But, I do know in whose hands I have placed my life; so, I am not worrying!"


January 14, 2008

"Well, tomorrow is the day - I have the 're-do' on the mammogram - the weird thing is the phone call(s) to confirm appointments ended up being two calls; one to confirm a 9 am appointment, and one to confirm a 10 am.  According to the letter I received, I might need an ultra sound as well as the mammogram; so it almost sounds as if they've scheduled both...

"Well, we will see in the morning.  I still say, it is what is is!  And whatever it is, it is in God's hands!  He is the one who holds my future..."

January 17, 2008

"...and it is A-OK!

"The first mammo was not clear; but after taking the others - and really squishing the boob - it was clearer and was just muscle overlapping!

"So, all is well!!

Thank you, God!


And, right before Thanksgiving this year, I had a mammogram...the first one since that episode in 2007/2008.  Since I was without insurance, I did not schedule one until just recently.

So far, I haven't heard anything from the recent exam; but they were ordering the films from that last one before the tech read them.

As I was certain back then, I am still certain that everything will be OK...

And if not, well, I know my life is in the right hands!


This was not really a FUN post for Random Journal Day; but sharing what I have written in my journal!  And...

Sharing my Faith during this time of year when we celebrate Thanksgiving and the "Reason for the Season"...the birth of our Savior!

Random Journal Day - November 6, 2015

{Well, the thing about "scheduling" a post is...you gotta check it to make sure it is actually "scheduled"!!  So, here it is Sunday night - I've been gone since Friday morning, which did not include checking my blog before leaving.  So, I just discovered this did not post...

Well, better late than never!!}

One of my favorite bloggers to follow is Dawn, who blogs at enthusiasticallydawn.com.  On the first Friday of each month, Dawn hosts Random Journal Day, where fellow journalers share an entry from one of their journals...

Whether we share an entry from yesterday, or last month, or even one from several years ago...we just share what's on our hearts or in our journals!





Today I want to share an entry from March 2008, when I was able to "check off an item from my bucket list":



Checking My List - March 9, 2008


"Today I realized one of my long-time dreams: to see Anne Murray in concert!!"

{Anne Murray has been my favorite female singer for many many years!  Her beautiful alto voice captivates my "romantic" side; and pulls out the emotions that may be buried deeply withinl!}

"A few weeks ago, I received an e-mail notification from Ticketmaster with the dates of various artists to be in Jacksonville - one of which was Anne Murray!  I decided this was the time to realize what I have been wanting to do - go see her in concert!

"I work hard and feel I deserve to do a few things I want to do - within reason, of course...and this was within reason!"

{I purchased two tickets and gave first choice to my husband to attend the concert with me; he shocked me by actually wanting to go!}

"And, I was not disappointed (in the concert!) - she gave a wonderful performance; included dialogue with the audience in reading some e-mails she has received; invited the audience to "sing along" with our favorites; and also took requests from the audience.

"After a short break (during which she changed clothes!), she continued singing - and invited her daughter, Dawn, to come on stage to sing a couple of duets with her.  Dawn also sang one of her own originals.

"As Dawn left the stage, her mother "whispered" that Dawn would be signing her CD after the concert; unfortunately, Anne did not.

"Of course, Anne sang my favorite, "You Needed Me" - among many other favorites!!"

From YouTube

Now, I'm really not sure why I love this song so much...listening to the song and following the lyrics, it can be taken a couple of different ways...

Just take a moment to read through the lyrics to this beautiful song; perhaps as you listen to Anne singing on the YouTube video above; and I am sure you'll see what I mean about the lyrics!

You Needed Me

I cried a tear, you wiped it dry

I was confused, you cleared my mind

I sold my soul, you bought it back for me

And held me up and gave me dignity

Somehow you needed me.

You gave me strength to stand alone again

To face the world out on my own again

You put me high upon a pedestal

So high that I could almost see eternity

You needed me, you needed me.

And I can't believe it's you I can't believe it's true

I needed you and you were there

And I'll never leave, why should I leave, I'd be a fool

'Cause I finally found someone who really cares.

You held my hand when it was cold

When I was lost, you took me home

You gave me hope when I was at the end

And turned my lies back into truth again

You even called me friend.

You gave me strength to stand alone again

To face the world out on my own again

You put me high upon a pedestal

So high that I could almost see eternity

You needed me, you needed me

You needed me, you needed me.

Writer(s): Randy Goodrum

Copyright: Miranda Millsap D/B/a Ironside Music,

Chappell & Co. Inc., Ironside Music

And now, back to the journal entry:

"...of course I bought two autographed CD's during the break (an oldie and a newbie); and after the concert, also bought Dawn's CD.  I also stood in line to have Dawn's CD autographed; and spoke to her briefly while she signed.  Dawn told me she was 24 years old and that this was the first time for her to be in concert with her mother!  What a way to jump-start her career!

"Speaking of careers, one of the e-mails Anne read (during the concert) asked if she would ever go back to teaching - after 41 years and a wonderful singing career, why would she?!  But, it was interesting to hear she had once been a teacher - especially since I have a daughter that is also musical and a teacher!

"Well, I am so excited to have realized one more of my:

'Thing I want to do' or 'Now that I am 50+, these are some things I want to do - before I can't!

"My 'bucket list' (or things I want to do before I 'kick the bucket')...

"But that is not what I call it!  Mine is more of a 'Now that I am 50+...' list!"

As for those lyrics -  when I wrote today's post, and listened to them again, some of the words touched me in a completely different place...

Not in the "you needed me" or "I needed you";

but, in the "I need HIM"...the One who "...gave me strength to stand alone again, to face the world out on my own again"; and the One who "...even called me friend"...

Yeah!  That One!

And that, my friends, ends this month's Random Journal Day entry!  If you want to read more of my "Bucket List" (or whatever it's called!), click here.

Random Journal Day - October 2, 2015

One of my favorite blogs to follow is Dawn, who blogs at enthusiasticallydawn.com.  On the first Friday of each month, I link up with Dawn for Random Journal Day, when we share an entry from one of our journals...

Whether we share an entry from yesterday, or last month, or even one from several years ago...we just share what's on our hearts or in our journals!

In all this craziness of "write31days", I am pulling out an old journal and joining Dawn - because, well...

I don't want to ignore the wonderful connections I made with other challenges!

And, Random Journal Day is one I truly enjoy - because I am, first and foremost, a journaler!

So, for RJD, I have pulled an entry from a period of time following my mother's death in June 2012 when I was dealing with grief and loss and lonliness; I had lost my mother, but also my best friend!


July 28, 2012

I found this posted on Facebook today; I don't know who wrote it, but it was a very timely post for me, and very much appreciated:


"Grief is a solitary journey.  No one but you knows how great the hurt is.  No one but you can know the gaping hole left in your life when someone you know has died.

And no one but you can mourn the silence that was once filled with laughter and song.

It is the nature of love and of death to touch every person in a totally unique way.  Comfort comes from knowing that people have made the same journey.  And that solace comes from understanding how others have learned to sing again."


And I continued my journaling with these words:


I travel on that journey called "Grief", and sometimes it does seem solitary.

Then I look around at those who are there:  my loved ones; my friends; my family; my church family; my "scrappin' " family; and I know this road is not as solitary as it would seem...

But, they aren't with me at all times; and it's when I am totally silent, it's completely quiet except the ticking of the clock and the distant noises, and the chirping of the birds and the crickets and the cars, and trucks, and ...

Well, to say it's completely quiet is, for sure, incorrect; but these are the times I think, and remember the past and those who have left us - but, I also know how much better they are ... no more suffering or hurting; no more tears or tiredness ...

And we will surely miss them; but life does go on, yet with a void where that person was.  An absence of time, or a period of time not filled - I used to do this or that; go here or there - Now, I fill those times with other things - and that's OK.

So, life goes on with a different routine, a different person to share it with; even though that "different person" has been here all along, things change and the routine changes.

And, for sure there are memories that I can hold in my heart; for all the things that we did together; for all of the years we were mother and daughter!  I can thank God for those years, for that closeness, for the times we had together.

A few days after the above entry, I wrote these words by S. E. McNaughton that I came across (probably online!):

"Those who live in our hearts will be with us always." 
{I did not put an author following this quote, and can only "assume" it continues with the following}:

"We cannot control the movement of time, nor can we control our own destiny or the destinies of those we love.

But we can take comfort in knowing that those who have lived in our hearts are never really gone.

For as long as we keep them with us, in our hearts and our thoughts, they will be with us always."

{And again, the following was written below the above quote; assuming this was all one quote from MacNaughton}:

"For love, which is timeless, never ceases to exist."


And, I am sure you have heard this one many times; but I will leave you with these words:

"Don't wait until tomorrow to tell your loved ones how much you love them; tomorrows aren't guaranteed to come."    -  Author Unknown, but very much appreciated!


That is another month for Random Journal Day...now, follow my blog for the month-long challenge of 31 Days of "Free Writes".

Random Journal Day - September 4, 2015

One of my favorite blogs to follow is Dawn, who blogs at enthusiasticallydawn.com.  On the first Friday of each month, I link up with Dawn for Random Journal Day, when we share an entry from one of our journals...

Whether we share an entry from yesterday, or last month, or even one from several years ago...we just share what's on our hearts or in our journals!

September 16, 1998 was not a very good day for me!  The newspaper carried this article a few days later under the Florida Times-Union's Law & Disorder section, that pretty much sums up what happened to me:


Secretary beaten at church job
Author:    Mary MacDonald, Times-Union staff writer
Date: September 18, 1998
Publication: The Florida Times-Union Page: B-5

A church secretary was bound, beaten and robbed in the office of a church on Jacksonville's Westside after she opened the door for a man who asked for a glass of water.

The man, armed with a small handgun, forced his way into Edgewood Avenue Christian Church about 3 p.m. Wednesday, a police report says.

The gunman struck her with the weapon, knocking her to the floor, then demanded money. When she said she had none, he dragged her into the church auditorium and bound her hands with the cord from the venetian blinds, the report says.  He covered her mouth with a tablecloth...

That's enough of that article!  On to some more positive thoughts from Eleanor Roosevelt:

Well, the purpose of today's Random Journal entry is not to re-visit "what happened" on that day; but to focus on "the aftermath"...

To focus on the "where am I today?".

In the days, months, even years that followed Wednesday, September 16, 1998, I used writing - journaling - as a form of therapy.  At one point a few days (maybe even weeks) later, I wrote:

Writing, journalizing {not sure that is even a word}, this is very therapeutic.  I've never been very good at keeping up with a daily journal, but feel there are times when journalizing is a good idea.  As I work through the events...the trauma and experience, and the "after effects", the use of writing will be helpful.

And I did!  Many pages fill a notebook, a scrapbook, and files on my computer...

So, "where am I today?"  Well, actually I have come a very long way from that day almost 17 years ago!  Each year, that date is ingrained in my brain and I remember; yet, some years I am so involved in LIFE that I completely forget the date.

Yes, I am aware of it now because I had thought (only briefly) about sharing my journaling for the "write31days" challenge during October; but feel it would be too depressing, and I'm not sure I'd have enough content for the entire month.  Anyway, I have already done the writing, and felt the "therapeutic" value of that writing!  Still pondering the possibility though!

What I will share - and leave you with today - is journaling from September 16, 2008, the "anniversary", if you will, of that date!


10 YEARS...MY, HOW TIME FLIES!

Has it really been that long - 10 years?  Since 1998 so much has happened in just a short time, if 10 years can be considered a "short time"...

In that 10 years my life has continued, with ups and downs, family additions and changes, church changes, even work changes.  But during that 10 year period my life has continued, and that is the whole point - my life did not end after that unfortunate "accident" 10 years ago.

My life has continued; I have continued to be the person - the wife, mother, daughter, friend, employee - that I was back then, but with some changes to how I view life and others.

I am slowly forgetting - what happened is not consuming me as it did right after it happened.  Of course, I can still remember what happened; I can still remember the date; I can still remember the approximate time, 3:00 p.m.; I can still remember who found me; I can still remember the many people who came to the emergency room; I can still remember the many people who sent cards, called, brought food or other gifts...

But that's not the important part of remembering.  What is most important to remember from the whole incident is this:

GOD LOVES ME and so do a whole lot of other people!

And, God is not finished with me yet; He apparently has plans for me and I must stay in contact with Him in order to follow His will.  How do I stay in contact with Him?  Through prayer and Bible study, of course!
{Written September 16, 2008}


So, today - almost 17 years later, after the attack; and 7 years from writing this entry...

What I can say about "where am I today?" is this...

I am where God wants me to be in order to fulfill the plans that He has for me and my life - whatever that is and wherever that takes me!

I put my life in His hands almost 17 years ago; I leave my life in His hands for the rest of what life there may be!

No, my story is not over yet...there is so much more life to live and so much more of my story to share!

And that, my friends, is today's Random Journal Day!  Join me the first Friday of October for more thoughts from my journals!

Random Journal Day - August 7, 2015

On the first Friday of each month, I link up with Dawn for Random Journal Day.  For this post, we share an entry from one of our journals - you know those "hand-written personal journals" we hope nobody ever discovers?!  Whether it's yesterday's entry, or last month's, or even one from several years ago...we just share what's on our hearts or in our journals!

For several months, I chose to "rebel" and wrote different things - like the one where I shared from a letter my mother's mother wrote the day before she gave birth {to my mother and her twin brother}.  Read that here.

Or the one I wrote about the Murder Mystery event I participated in during a scrapbook retreat weekend; that one can be found here.

But, this month I plan to share a couple of entries from my journal - how original!?  Because certain verses keep coming up in my Bible reading, I found this entry from February 2, 2012 that I wanted to share:


One of my favorite hymns is "Because He Lives":

Because He lives,
I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives,
All fear is gone.
Because I know He holds the {my} future.
And life is worth the living
Just because He lives -

Amen Amen and Amen!

Nothing - I mean literally nothing should cause me to feel as if all is lost...

Because He holds my future - our future - and He will not put a load on us that we can't handle with His help and strength.

So...why do I worry, and cry, and get depressed over things?

My life is in His hands; He has carried me {us} so far and will continue to do so -

So...if I know all this...

WHY...

is it so hard?!

WHY...

do I continue to worry?

Not too long ago, within about a 10-day span, the following verse was read during my morning devotions:

June 29, 2015:  "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."  (Philippians 4:6 - NIV)

July 8, 2015:  "Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."  (Philippians 4:6 - NRSV)

Found on Pinterest

Shared by etsy.com

The words are a little different between the two versions; but the thought is very clear, as the meditation states:

"The Bible gives me comfort and assurance that God is with me and knows my struggles.  I am encouraged to keep trusting and hoping in God.  How often must I do this?  Every single day!  It is a continual process."

So, as I write this entry for Random Journal Day, knowing that God is with me; the scriptures tell me that I need not worry; I know that every single day isn't enough to remind me that He is there, waiting for my requests!

I must keep trusting and hoping in God every single hour; yet, every single minute of my life!

And, I guess that is why He keeps putting this verse in front of me...to remind me that He is waiting for me!