One of my favorite blogs to follow is Dawn, who blogs at enthusiasticallydawn.com. On the first Friday of each month, I link up with Dawn for Random Journal Day, when we share an entry from one of our journals...
Whether we share an entry from yesterday, or last month, or even one from several years ago...we just share what's on our hearts or in our journals!
In all this craziness of "write31days", I am pulling out an old journal and joining Dawn - because, well...
I don't want to ignore the wonderful connections I made with other challenges!
And, Random Journal Day is one I truly enjoy - because I am, first and foremost, a journaler!
So, for RJD, I have pulled an entry from a period of time following my mother's death in June 2012 when I was dealing with grief and loss and lonliness; I had lost my mother, but also my best friend!
July 28, 2012
I found this posted on Facebook today; I don't know who wrote it, but it was a very timely post for me, and very much appreciated:
"Grief is a solitary journey. No one but you knows how great the hurt is. No one but you can know the gaping hole left in your life when someone you know has died.And no one but you can mourn the silence that was once filled with laughter and song.
It is the nature of love and of death to touch every person in a totally unique way. Comfort comes from knowing that people have made the same journey. And that solace comes from understanding how others have learned to sing again."
And I continued my journaling with these words:
I travel on that journey called "Grief", and sometimes it does seem solitary.
Then I look around at those who are there: my loved ones; my friends; my family; my church family; my "scrappin' " family; and I know this road is not as solitary as it would seem...
But, they aren't with me at all times; and it's when I am totally silent, it's completely quiet except the ticking of the clock and the distant noises, and the chirping of the birds and the crickets and the cars, and trucks, and ...
Well, to say it's completely quiet is, for sure, incorrect; but these are the times I think, and remember the past and those who have left us - but, I also know how much better they are ... no more suffering or hurting; no more tears or tiredness ...
And we will surely miss them; but life does go on, yet with a void where that person was. An absence of time, or a period of time not filled - I used to do this or that; go here or there - Now, I fill those times with other things - and that's OK.
So, life goes on with a different routine, a different person to share it with; even though that "different person" has been here all along, things change and the routine changes.
And, for sure there are memories that I can hold in my heart; for all the things that we did together; for all of the years we were mother and daughter! I can thank God for those years, for that closeness, for the times we had together.
A few days after the above entry, I wrote these words by S. E. McNaughton that I came across (probably online!):
"Those who live in our hearts will be with us always."
{I did not put an author following this quote, and can only "assume" it continues with the following}:
"We cannot control the movement of time, nor can we control our own destiny or the destinies of those we love.
But we can take comfort in knowing that those who have lived in our hearts are never really gone.
For as long as we keep them with us, in our hearts and our thoughts, they will be with us always."
{And again, the following was written below the above quote; assuming this was all one quote from MacNaughton}:
"For love, which is timeless, never ceases to exist."
And, I am sure you have heard this one many times; but I will leave you with these words:
"Don't wait until tomorrow to tell your loved ones how much you love them; tomorrows aren't guaranteed to come." - Author Unknown, but very much appreciated!
That is another month for Random Journal Day...now, follow my blog for the month-long challenge of 31 Days of "Free Writes".
This is so good! (And I love Dawn, too!) After yesterdays' tragedy... this is such a timely reminder! Don't hold back... tell your loved ones that you love them! I have a sign on the wall in our bedroom that says, "Always Kiss Me Goodnight!" ...it's so vital to let others' know - and to know ourselves how others' feel!
ReplyDeleteOh, Karrilee...I certainly did not foresee anything so horrible happening when I chose to write from this particular journal entry!! And it is so true that we need to let others know how much we love them; care for/about them...because, yes, we just never know!
DeleteThank you so much for reading and for your comment. I appreciate your words, both here and in your own blog!
Thank you for sharing this with us today. As someone who has lost not only my mother and father, (to old age) but also one of my precious sons, age 41, to cancer last year...I can truly relate to all of the thoughts you shared. Grief is definitely an ongoing process...not something you just get over someday. About the time you think you've "recovered", something hits you from out of the blue that brings it all back fresh again. I am just so thankful that I have heaven to look forward to...and eternity where we will never have to say goodbye again. Thank you for this wonderful journal entry today. I needed it.
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, Pamela...there IS that day when you and your son, and your parents, will be re-united! Grief is definitely ongoing...and no two people show their grief in the same way, or get over it in the same time frame. I still have things come to me out of the blue that remind me of my father, who died in 1990; and my mother, who died in 2012.
DeleteI appreciate your reading and commenting; and am so humbled that these words were what you needed and that I was able to share them!
Ah thank you for sharing your thoughts on your precious mom. Someday I will be in your shoes, and I want to look back with fondness on those memories, so I'm working to find time to be with my mom in her sunset years.
ReplyDeleteYes, Ruthie! Spend all the time you can with your loved ones! My mom was in a nursing home; our day was on Sunday after I left church. Sometimes I ate lunch with her; other times I went to eat with friends, then went to visit her...that was our day and...
DeleteThe last time I saw her was on a Sunday; I was excited to see her the next week to tell her all about the apartment my husband and I had just recently moved into...but, our "next Sunday" didn't come...I've written a number of posts about this and oh to have had that last Sunday! Enjoy making those memories now; let your loved ones know how you feel now while you can!
Thank you for reading and commenting...your words are much appreciated!
:). Loss is never easy--whether it's a loved one, a job or a belief. We all need time to grieve and process and draw closer to the one who loves us most.
ReplyDeleteThis is oh so true! Even losing a job - even a divorce/a relationship can be considered a loss. And we need that time to grieve just as with the death of a loved one.
DeleteThank you for reading and commenting, and adding your thoughts.
Barb, I lost my mom three years ago this month - she was my dear dear friend and biggest supporter. I miss her terribly. I'm with you, sister. xo
ReplyDeleteWith me so much more than you know...I lost mine June 2012, which is just over 3 years ago as well. Mine was also my friend and biggest supporter! It is hard to think about her, but I think about her! Because, she was - still is - a major part of my life!
DeleteI appreciate your reading and commenting!
This post could have fit well with family. When we lose someone close to us like a mother or daughter, the grief is so intense and real. thank you for sharing your thoughts. It helps those of who have lost our loved ones. We know we are not alone. I identify with your thoughts. I went through the same thing when I lost my father in 1999.
ReplyDeleteMary, I lost my father in 1990; my mother in 2012...grief IS intense and real; and we all go through it in so many different ways and time frames.
DeleteI appreciate your reading and commenting with your thoughts.
This is good stuff, my friend. It's eight years this month since I lost my mom and I still start to pick up the phone and call her sometimes. I'm so sorry for your loss but so grateful for the relationship you had with her!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Shelby! My mom died in 2012; so just over 3 years...yet, you are so right! Some Sundays I think - "I need to stop by to visit mom today"...that was our day together at the nursing home. We did have a good relationship; and so grateful we did.
DeleteThank you for reading and commenting!
Barbara- There is comfort in our griefs and I appreciate how God comforted you through your journal keeping and the quotes you recorded that we poignant then and now...what a good heavenly Father we have who comforts us with the words that comforted another. Keep writing your words of comfort for us! Thanks. Grief comes in many ways, mine is often related to transitional seasons of life. I miss the old days...but God has fresh, new days to enjoy and a heaven of great reunions!
ReplyDeleteYes, Kel...there are so many aspects of "grief"; of "losing" someone or something! God gives us a new day every 24 hours; a new week every 7 days...etc. And we can be thankful for each of these "new"...
DeleteSometimes we don't find the comfort we need; and sometimes we do. Sometimes journaling helps; and sometimes it doesn't. We all grieve in different ways...God is still there with us and for us; and sometimes it takes us time to realize that...!
Thanks for reading and commenting!
Barbara, Oh, I am so honored and encouraged by your faithfulness to join us. AND your words are giving me chills today as I was thinking about my dear Grandmother who passed in 1996...so timely. Your writing surely reflects sensitivity, grace and wisdom. Beautiful! I just had to pass (reluctantly ) on 31 Days this year...my plate is overfull, I am behind on many things...and God is really whispering to my heart, be cautious on adding more before I have affirmed it to be my will...because sometimes I have so many ideas, God can get crowded right out! Fortunately, I heeded His leading and can see the wisdom in choosing to say know and trusting He has other things that need my undivided attention. He knows how hard it is for that to happen! lol. Love and hugs, and thanks for joining RJD while you are on the 31 Day journey! Love and hugs, my friend.
ReplyDeleteWell, perhaps I HAVE "bit off more than I can chew" with the 31 Days journey, AND trying to keep up with the other things I enjoy doing (which includes the writing, reading and the scrapbooking, and spending time with the family.
DeleteI enjoy looking back in my journals and finding something that is appropriate to share. I hope that what I do share - in all my posts - glorifies God and lifts His name and not mine...I feel what I write comes from Him...but there are days I am not sure if it does or if it's just my own words!
I am just - simply - me! And I enjoy writing...I'm not even really concerned about the "numbers"; yes, it helps to have comments that encourage, and that show me somebody has actually been affected by what I have said...has found something in what I said that helps them. That is, I guess, the reason we write, right? I enjoy following your posts; but with the writing, I have slowed down on reading...but I save them to read - eventually...
Thank you for reading and for your special comment! Love and hugs to you as well, my friend!
Barbara, my RJD was also about grief and loss. I so understand what you felt about your mom. I have the same griefs about my father. We move on but their loss is always part of our lives. Thank you for this glimpse back to when it was fresh and hard and you were really working through it--grief is hard work, I think.
ReplyDeleteYes, Carolyn, even when we move on, as we have to do, the grief still remains. Appreicate your reading and commenting...I was just going back through some of the topics I used for RJD, getting ready for Nov. 6th!
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