Thursday, March 12, 2015

GROW



Time for this week's link up with Karen Beth for Tuesday @ Ten where we have a full week to write on the word prompt.


This week's word is:


GROW...

I was reaching out - hoping for a word that I could use to release the feelings I have been having the past few days...

How do I fit GROW into those feelings?

Then...it hit me - I can do this!  I can use the word GROW to share my feelings and my thought of these few days; and share some of what I wrote in my journal:

When our children grow up, and become adults, they become their own person.  They normally do not depend on their mothers any longer; at least, not in the same ways as when they were growing up.

They grow apart;

They grow away;

They out grow what they need from us;

But,

They do not go apart;

They do not go away;

They do not out "go" what they need from us.



The past few days have been hard for this mother!

Hearing news from one of her own -

Unexpected news;

Shocking news;

News I never thought I would hear...


And I wrote, "It's Tuesday - barely...but it is Tuesday!  I just cannot sleep!  I go to bed, lie down, and my mind wanders; I try to pray, and my mind wanders...

Why can I not sleep, when it's dark outside..."


The phone call came on Monday morning; my day to be home and do laundry and organize things for my weekend retreat;

Something I have been looking forward to...

But, instead, I spent the day crying and trying to process what I had heard.


And, I wrote, "My heart hurts so bad; I lie awake at night - hand to heart, feeling each beat, each pull of my insides turning upside down.

My heart is sad, as if I have lost ofe of my own; yet, I have lost one of my own in a sense!  Or, have I lost her?

My own child disappointed me - once; or twice; or how many times?  Yet...

A mother's love doesn't abandon; doesn't turn her back.

A mother's love gives comfort and arms to hold and love.

A mother's love opens her heart; a heart that stretches to hold each one who is dear.

No matter how much that heart hurts; it stretches and stretches...

And, it hurts with every tear shed; with every deep hurt; and yet...

It loves more even as it hurts more.

A mother's heart...

Hurts and loves and shares and cares and...

Hurts..."


Yes, our children GROW...

Apart;

Away;

They out - grow what they need from us...


But, in the end, they learn to deal with what LIFE has handed them;

They GROW into that "new" life; whatever that means...

Knowing they will never be away from their Mother's love -

No matter what happens!











6 comments:

  1. Oh, hoping that having been able to express it so eloquently has helped ...

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    1. Yes, Alexa; I actually was able to get these words down in my journal...and it HAS helped. Nothing that a lot of other families often go through; nothing like an illness or death...but still something hard to take - at first!

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

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  2. Hoping writing helped you a little today.

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    1. Yes, Tara; getting these words down - first, in my journal; then on my blog - has helped a lot! That, and reading a few things in the Bible and online (sometimes the quotes, or the "Message from God" come at just the right time...even at 2 am as one of the verses came!!)

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

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  3. I LOVE THIS .. and I love the last quote about "hurt in order to know fall in order to grow" ... such a great reminder of the place I am in ... thank you so much for this wonderful writing! blessed to have you a part of the Tuesday at Ten .....

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  4. Glad this post touched you in the "place you are in"...I pray my writing does that! Some posts I write directly onto the blog; others, like this, come from my journaling. I was not able to get the words together until I realized that "GROW" DID go along with what I was feeling.

    Thanks for reading and commenting!

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Thank you for stopping by to read my post today! I appreciate your reading and commenting - your comments are a welcome encouragement for me to continue one of my favorite things - writing!

You are special to me; and your words help in more ways than I can number...Thank you just isn't enough!