Saturday, December 5, 2015

Tuesday @ Ten - DETERMINED

Today I am joining my friend, Karen Beth, for Tuesday @ Ten.

This link-up, writing from a prompted word or phrase, is one of my sure to check out the others' posts, and link your own!

Today's word is:  DETERMINED

After reading Karen's post about this week's word, I commented to her that I was "determined" to get a post written!

The truth is, I did write it...

Sometime in the middle of the night, when I was unable to sleep, I had the words running through my head!  But, I didn't get up and jot them down...

Now, I am starting over!

But, I am determined to write something meaningful...or at least something that makes sense!

Lately I've been feeling a bit..."out-of-sorts".

What does that really mean?  I'm not sure; but I just haven't been feeling quite myself.  I've been tired; not depressed, but not really feeling like doing anything; a bit sick with coughing and congestion; and just plain "bitchy" (can I say that here???  Sorry!  But I'm not sure any other word would work for the way I've been feeling!).

I am not usually that way; or, am I?  Actually, I think I am that way to my husband a lot of the time!

I've often said that my husband acts one way with others, and another way with me.  According to him, "everybody likes me"; "they all say I'm a great guy".

I always say, "But they don't live with you; and don't really know what kind of guy you are!"

I am determined to change my thought patterns.

I am determined to change my attitude; to change my actions and reactions.

I am determined to have him treat me the same as he does with "others"; to be that guy "everybody likes" when he is with me!

I am determined to not jump to conclusions; to not provoke him to react negatively to me...

I am determined!

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I know that it is not all my fault; the way he acts or speaks to me comes from somewhere within him...either he doesn't understand what I am saying (due to his hearing or even his dementia);

But I know that I can help by speaking louder and more clearly.  I know I can help by realizing his inability to follow a story-line or to grasp a situation, and be clearer in responding to him.

It takes two people to communicate properly; but when one is hard-of-hearing and has dementia, the other person needs to compensate for that lack - and that is what I need to do!

I am determined!

Yes, I am determined to be the person I know I am; the one that isn't bitchy and ugly all the time; the one who is positive and happy and joyful...

Because, that is who I am for real - positive and happy and joyful!

And I know that I can do this - with God's help; because, that is the only way I can do it!

This may not be the post that ran through my head early this morning; but this is what I have written!

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Thank you for stopping by to read my post today! I appreciate your reading and commenting - your comments are a welcome encouragement for me to continue one of my favorite things - writing!

You are special to me; and your words help in more ways than I can number...Thank you just isn't enough!