I AM LEARNING

It is time for Tuesday @ Ten!  Karen provides us with a word or phrase for us to write about, and a full week to get our posts written and link up with others.  

This week Karen has challenged us to write using the phrase: 

"I AM LEARNING..."

To "Be Still and Know..."

To Stop

and "smell the roses";

to sit quietly -

alone -

waiting...

To Be Silent

and Listen...

for God's voice.

To Take the time

and "be in the moment"

{whatever that moment may be}

As I sit by the window

in the quiet of a morning,

reading His Word,

and the devotion for the day,

sharing my heart in my journal...


Am I open to Hear?


How do I know

it is His Voice

that I hear?


How do I shut out my thoughts;

my "to do" list;

my needs and requests?


How do I completely shut out

Everything?!


Each word I read

assures me...

Whatever my need may be,

His Word is sure to speak to me.


And,

in the stillness of the morning...

I pray His voice breaks through

all of the "stuff"

that is cluttering my mind.

I pray to Hear

His Voice

in the stillness.

And I know...

it will come!

THE EYES OF TIME

Blue eyes -

Once bright

And sparkling,

Flashing to and fro,

Watching,

Taking it all in.

Now,

The sparkle gone;

The tiredness obvious;

What memories
Behind those 

Blue eyes,

No longer bright,

No longer sparkling.

Blond hair -

Thinning,

A spot balding;

Endearing.

Now,

No longer blond -

When did the gray

Become more prominent?

The balding spot

Filling your head?

You shuffle

Down the walk,

Slower and slower -

Steps once quick and sure,

No longer sure;

Which way to turn?

Did the eyes see...

When

You became...
Older?

When
Life
Slowed down...

A slower pace?

How long 'til slow

Becomes slower...

Becomes slowed...

Becomes...
Stopped?

Do the eyes know...
How long before

You no longer go...

On your own?

So much of life behind;

How much is left ahead?

How much?

The eyes of time -
They see...
So much!
They know...
So much!

The eyes of time...


{BJLondon - May, 2015}

TODAY

TODAY...

I forgot your name!

I know it's somewhere...

in the deep dark recesses of my brain.

I see your face...

can picture us together - 

somewhere...

walking hand in hand -

in the park?

at the beach?

somewhere!

I hear your voice,

calling my name...

and I smile!

Today...

I forgot your name!

Maybe tomorrow,

I will remember.

Maybe tomorrow,

I will know...

Maybe.

{written by Barbara London

April 2015}

LOVE HAS NO COLOR

Deep in my soul,

I feel it swell

and burst forth.

Just one look,

one smile

and the love I feel

overflows.

Your eyes,

so deep and dark;

your smile,

so perfect

and full of

the same sweet love

I feel for you.

Unconditional love -

Love not searched for,

but freely given.

An innocent love;

an expectant love.

And your face glows

with the certainty that...

even though our skin is

a different color -

Our love is true

and sure.

A childlike acceptance of

love freely given -

even by a stranger

sent to help

the innocent child

that you are.

writtenby

Barbara London

4/14/2010

Found Poetry

Thank you to Julie at Happy Strong Home - Wholesome Living for the Whole Family blog for the idea of using the titles of children's books to create a form of poetry!  She calls it a "collage of words" and it is fun to create.  Check out her post from October 20, 2014 at:  http://happystronghome.com/2014/10/found-poetry-in-picture-books/ and see what you can come up with!


After joining my daughter and her children for a trip to the local library, and coming out with a bag full of children's books, I decided to give this poetry method a try!  Thanks to "Little Critter" books by Mercer Mayer and Charles M. Schultz and Peanuts, here is what I came up with:

(I'm) Just Big Enough!

Me, too! (says my little brother);

Just Me and My Brother -

Just a Mess!

A Very Special Critter -

Just Me and My Mom!

Good Grief, It's Mother's Day!

In order for the verse to flow better, I added a few words that were not part of the titles; these are in parentheses).

Now that I have done this one with children's books, I thought it might be fun to see what I could come up with using some of my favorite movies!!  Hmmmm!  Might be interesting what I come up with for that one!!

My Fellow Americans -

The American President

(has traveled to) Australia

(to see) Dr. Zhivago

(and a) Pretty Woman

(named) Sabrina.

Mama Mia!

(What) Dirty Dancing

(and) Footloose

Sound(s) of Music!

(It wasn't quite a) Miracle on 34th Street;

(but more like the) Titanic.

WOW!

Shakespeare (must be) in Love

(with this) West Side Story!

Well, it seems this one sounds more like a bit of a story instead of poetry!  But, it's what I came up with using the movies in my collections.  What would yours look like?  Share if you wish!!

Barriers

Like the solemn mask

of a Halloween Eve,

You hide your feelings,

Your thoughts.

Like the precious flower’s bud

beneath a blanket of snow,

You shelter your dreams,

your desires.

Like the huge iceberg

Slowly drifting to sea,

Gradually melting

to blend with the surrounding waters,

You slowly remove the barriers,

the mask,

the blanket of snow,

the icy coverings,

And begin to share

Your feelings,

Your thoughts,

Your dreams,

Your desires;

But most of all,

You share the beauty of You.

(BJL-May 13, 1992)

Silence

In the late night darkness or the early morn,

Silence is yet to be…

Oh, but how it would be

That silence overcome me?

Oh, how I yearn for the silence to be –

Will I hear His voice in the still of the night?

Can it be heard –

Am I open to hear that voice so sweet –

For it is that voice could make it right!

Silence!  Do you hear His voice?

Sounds of War

We hear the sounds of war

and the cries for peace;

We hear of destruction done

in the name of peace;

We hear of rallies done

for peace,

and for war.

Let us keep listening

to the messages

from a world at war;

from a world calling for peace.

Let us keep listening

to the still small voice

of a loving God,

a peaceful God;

A God who is with us,

both now and always.

(BJL-January, 1991)

This poem was written six months after my father passed away, and just a few short weeks after my brother was sent to Saudi Arabia during the Gulf War and what was subsequently called “Desert Storm.”  Our lives are full of war, whether one such as “Desert Storm” or the wars within ourselves.  Yet, God IS always with us – though it is sometimes hard to see Him.  May our God surround His people in whatever war they are in the midst of, and give them strength and courage to handle their wars inside.

The Road

The road is long and winding ‘round

The detours and the u-turns found;

The bumps and ruts, unfinished yet

The journey there so hard to get –

These are only bumps in the road before us;

Obstacles in our journey’s chorus,

Of birds and sounds that no one sees

As they flit around in the night time breeze.

Oh, the road is long and winding ‘round…

And once we get there know we’ve found

Our place of respite, rest and care,

The place we knew was always there –

Before our eyes and in plain sight,

Yet we couldn’t see it until the light.

Where the Tears

This poem was written for a dear friend after she shared that cancer had been found in her thyroid.  At first, unable to cry, I wrote the beginnings of "Where the Tears?".  But during worship one Sunday when we were both participating in the service, the tears were found and flowed freely.  I told her she messed up my poem; and finished it later that night!  I dedicate this poem to my friend, who...thank God, is still with us!!  And to many others who have lost that fight.

Emotions - deep within my soul -

Sorrow, joy, fear, happiness, hurt.

Sharing, caring; emotions out of control -

But ... where the tears?

My heart aches, cries out

"Why God, why?"

Life is so unfair -

Why has this happened?

Surely the tears will flow -

But - where the tears?

Deep inside tears fill my soul

Yearning to be shed.

Emotions - deep within my soul -

I look you in the eyes with love and concern.

but dry-eyed I wonder

Where the tears?

Then without a word -

With just a look of love from friend to friend -

Words are choked back beneath the flood

As slowly, freely

The tears begin to fall.

Sit With Me

The following poem was written by a patient to her hospice volunteer:

Sit with me,

the day is long -

The rain beats upon the

window strong.

And I'm so alone.

My family - strained -

Their smile a mask,

would bring me anything

I'd ask -          

except the truth.

They won't bring that?

I wish they would.

the wall they raise

impales my heart,

the talk of home

tears me apart.

If only once

they'd let it be -

Just let it be and

SIT with me.

But you - you're different.

YOU know the name.

YOU sit beside me

with quiet brain

YOU hold my hand

your eyes won't lie.

They hold me fast -

they let me cry.

Oh sit with me.

And help me leave -

this wondrous earth,

so dear to me.

I need your hand -

your gentle smile

to free me from these shreds

of Life

This precious ebbing Life!

My family holds me

with loving Lies.

I cannot tell them -

(They've made it so) -

that my soul's at rest

and I want to go.

So sit with me

the day is Long -

the psalm of rain

takes me along.

I cannot fear -

what has to be

O Gentle Friend -

Please Sit with Me!

Day 28 - Dementia, I Hate You!

Today, through poetry, I will share how dementia appears from two perspectives.  The first is written by one who sees dementia in a loved one; and the other is written by one who is living with dementia.  Credit is given to each author at the end of their poetry…

DEMENTIA – I HATE YOU

Dementia – I hate you!

I hate what you’ve robbed from me

I hate that you dictate my day

I hate that you’ve made me a stranger

I hate that you’ve made me the enemy

I hate that you’ve made me cry

I hate that you’ve made me laugh

I hate you!

Dementia – you enrage me!

You make me lose my temper

You make me feel out of control

You make we want to scream

You make me want to punch

You make me want to kick

You make me want to fight

You enrage me!

Dementia – you terrify me!

I’m terrified of the future

I’m terrified who’ll be next

I’m terrified I will be next

I’m terrified I will forget my children

I’m terrified my children may forget also

I’m terrified there’ll never be a cure

You terrify me!

Dementia – you cause me despair!

You took my innocence

When you took my Grandma

You took my strength

When you took my Father

You’re taking my heart

As you steal her away

You cause me despair.

(by Traci Story; to connect to Lewy Body Dementia Association click here)

Will This Nightmare Ever End?

Crumbling walls within my brain

Distant memories call my name,

Different days yet still the same

Will this nightmare, ever end?

Not quite sure, what is real,

Forgetting how to eat a meal,

Desperation is what I feel,

Will this nightmare, ever end?

All I want is to be Alive,

I feel so old at Fifty Five,

My old age I want to see

Will this Nightmare, ever end?

And so I walk with my illness

Hand in hand, my life amiss,

Waiting for Cure’s elusive kiss

Will this Nightmare, never end?

Until that day, a cure is found,

You will always hear my sound,

Of defiance and hope abound,

Until my Nightmare ends.

 (Written by  Norrms Mc Namara who was diagnosed with dementia at age 50.

Read more of Norrms poetry here)

Silent Cries

SILENT CRIES

I cried in the evening;

But no one saw my pain;

No one saw the anguish

In my heart.

I cried in the night;

But no one heard my suffering;

No one heard

The silent cries of pain.

I cried in the morning;

But -

The sounds of laughter;

the sounds of joy;

the sounds of love -

Overshadowed my pain and suffering;

And replaced them with

Laughter!

And Happiness!

And Joy!

And Love!

... And Peace!

(originally written November 17, 1991)

A Romanian Prayer (translated)

The following is a Romanian prayer written as a poem by priest Arsenie Boca and shared by  a fellow blogger, "lettersformysoulmate" who translated it:

Oh, Lord, forgive my many prayers
Asking You only for bread, security and wonders,
For I have often done from Thee my servant
I do not listen You, but You of what I say,
Instead of wishing, Lord, to be your will
I always ask You to do mine.
I ask You to banish grief, to not send me what You want
And to serve me in all, to give me without asking in return,
Thinking that if I sang and pray to You,
I have the right to ask You for all I want.
Oh, forgive my crazy way of praying,
And teach me how otherwise to stand before Thee.
Not just asking from You, like You were my servant,
But You asking from me, and the servant to be me.
To understand that the best way to pray
It's to wish Your will in all.

The prayer rhymes beautifully in Romanian; sure wish I knew that language to read the beauty of the rhyme.

Day 22 - Crying Out to God

Now that I have shared my deep dark secrets - my "Dark Times" post can be found here - I feel the need to take a much needed rest, and just share a couple of my original poems and a quote!  

Silent Cries

I cried in the evening;

But no one saw my pain;

No one saw the anguish

In my heart.

I cried in the night;

But no one heard my suffering;

No one heard

The silent cries of pain.

I cried in the morning;

But –

The sounds of laughter;

The sounds of joy;

The sounds of love –

Over-shadowed my pain and suffering;

And replaced them with

Laughter!

And happiness!

And joy!

And love!

And peace!

(originally written Nov. 1991)

****************

Where Are You, God?

I look for you when my heart is heavy with sadness,

    My eyes filled with tears.

I look for you when my heart is filled with joy,

    My eyes dancing with laughter.

I look for you in the morning,

When the dawn is breaking over the horizon.

I look for you in the evening,

When the darkness closes in and the night draws near.

I look for you in the deep blue ocean,

Or the never-ending expanse of the sky.

I look for you in the tall trees,

Or the beautiful variety of plants and flowers.

However I come to you –

Whenever I seek you –

Whenever I search for you –

You are always there –

In my heart and in my life.

(originally written Nov. 1997)

The Wisdom of Charlie Brown!

Tomorrow I will share another piece I wrote called "The Rainbow".