Day 30 - Unprepared

I am changing what I had previously planned to post today.  A trip to the doctor for my check up and I felt the need to write something else…

The thing about going to the doctor is you can usually predict what he is going to say:  “Your blood sugar is too high; you are over-weight, obese; you need to lose weight; you need to walk at least a mile every day; you need to be on a 1000 calorie diet (what?!)  You need to…”  These things I knew he would bring to my attention, as he does every time I have a doctor’s visit…I KNOW these things and I really want to lose weight and get healthier!  I have been under so much stress the past few years – losing a job; finding another job; being laid off; health issues (me); health issues (hubby); financial worries… I know, all excuses to why I haven’t taken more control of my health and my life!!  I know that I should be taking care of myself so I will be healthy enough to take care of hubby…really?!

So, what I was not prepared to hear today was when I mentioned to the doctor that my husband’s memory seemed to be getting worse – and reminded him that he had previously been diagnosed with Vascular dementia because this is not the same doctor he was seeing when we received the diagnosis; in fact, there have been several doctor changes due to insurance and staying in the network of doctors!  What I truly was not prepared to hear the doctor say is:  “It could be Alzheimer’s disease, you know that?”

Of course I know that!  I have been sharing for almost 31 days – Dementia’s Demands!  Of course I know…NO!  I do not want to hear that it could be Alzheimer’s disease.  I have been on a journey with a dementia that would not get worse; one that was caused by small strokes that affected the memory.  The memory we can work with; we can do things to help remember – write things down, use a calendar and write important dates to remember, etc.  

I also know that Vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s disease could go hand in hand – which means there must have been other small strokes that we didn’t know about; more damage to the brain, right?  I don’t know!  What I do know is that it is a possibility – and so the journey of Dementia’s Demands continues with yet another “bump in the road” and possibly a new diagnosis?!