Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Day 28 - Dementia, I Hate You!



Today, through poetry, I will share how dementia appears from two perspectives.  The first is written by one who sees dementia in a loved one; and the other is written by one who is living with dementia.  Credit is given to each author at the end of their poetry…


DEMENTIA – I HATE YOU

Dementia – I hate you!
I hate what you’ve robbed from me
I hate that you dictate my day
I hate that you’ve made me a stranger
I hate that you’ve made me the enemy
I hate that you’ve made me cry
I hate that you’ve made me laugh
I hate you!

Dementia – you enrage me!
You make me lose my temper
You make me feel out of control
You make we want to scream
You make me want to punch
You make me want to kick
You make me want to fight
You enrage me!

Dementia – you terrify me!
I’m terrified of the future
I’m terrified who’ll be next
I’m terrified I will be next
I’m terrified I will forget my children
I’m terrified my children may forget also
I’m terrified there’ll never be a cure
You terrify me!

Dementia – you cause me despair!
You took my innocence
When you took my Grandma
You took my strength
When you took my Father
You’re taking my heart
As you steal her away
You cause me despair.

(by Traci Story; to connect to Lewy Body Dementia Association click here)




Will This Nightmare Ever End?

Crumbling walls within my brain
Distant memories call my name,
Different days yet still the same
Will this nightmare, ever end?

Not quite sure, what is real,
Forgetting how to eat a meal,
Desperation is what I feel,
Will this nightmare, ever end?

All I want is to be Alive,
I feel so old at Fifty Five,
My old age I want to see
Will this Nightmare, ever end?

And so I walk with my illness
Hand in hand, my life amiss,
Waiting for Cure’s elusive kiss
Will this Nightmare, never end?

Until that day, a cure is found,
You will always hear my sound,
Of defiance and hope abound,
Until my Nightmare ends.

 (Written by  Norrms Mc Namara who was diagnosed with dementia at age 50.
Read more of Norrms poetry here)

10 comments:

  1. Oh wow. You went and made me cry -- from both points of view. Watching my MIL get lost in another world was almost unbearably hard. The only thing that helped was that she no longer remembered the death of my husband, her only son. That part was a blessing.

    Just. Wow. Now I've gotta go read your whole series....

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    1. Sorry to have made you cry! I appreciate your reading and commenting - sorry about your MIL and your husband! That cannot have been easy for you. May God continue to comfort you...

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  2. This post hits particularly hard today, as I dealt with memories of my grandmother, who died from Alzheimers earlier this year. The poem written by Mr. McNamara could have been written by my grandmother (albeit she probably would have thrown some swear words in German in there for emphasis). Lovely post on difficult subject matter.

    Hugs,
    Melissa
    http://www.measi.net/measiblog/

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    1. Thank you Melissa - sorry to hear about your grandmother. May you find comfort in His arms! (I have a daughter Melissa and she shared with me this morning that she had read my blog all the way back to the first entry; it is her father that I write about and I wasn't certain if she would read it...but she found it helpful in remembering his actions and it being the disease, not HIM, that is cause for the way he is and was.)

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    1. Thank you for reading and commenting! It IS heartbreaking - and after reading the poem from the perspective of one who is living with dementia - well, it has opened my heart and mind...perhaps I can move forward in our journey with a new outlook!

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  4. What powerful poems, Barbara! And what a terrifying disease for everyone involved. May God continue to give you guidance, grace and patience as you face this journey with your husband.

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    1. Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I found these two poems powerful as well...kept wanting to write something myself; but these were just too hard to pass up...now that I have my "writing mo-jo" back, maybe I WILL get more written!

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Thank you for stopping by to read my post today! I appreciate your reading and commenting - your comments are a welcome encouragement for me to continue one of my favorite things - writing!

You are special to me; and your words help in more ways than I can number...Thank you just isn't enough!